For hours I sat out, staring at nothing. I thought about her, wondering where she is right now, wondering if she healed, if I was ever right about Time.
Many years back I recall, She woke up one morning, with a note in the pit of her stomach, her heart thumping so hard she could hear it. it raced so fast she thought she’s going to die. How she convinced herself she was still alive but part of her felt like she was dead. For a moment she understood when I once cried out that my heart bled.
That day, she got to office and so much work had piled for her to look at. She had a meeting in a short hour and she didn’t know if she was ready for it. She went to the bathroom not able to hold back her tears. For a while she wanted to sink into the floor and let it all out but she thought of all that’s waiting for her, all that’s to be done, she thought about the many people that were going to walk in and out. She didn’t have the time nor the space to cry. Her job was at a risk. She pulled together and again managed to convince herself this was just for a while then doubt creeps in…for how long was it going to last.
I personally didn’t have the right words to tell her. I could feel her pain. I understood exactly what she’s going through.
It’s past 10am and she clearly was hungry but with a lump in her throat. I was almost sure that if she dared to eat, she did not carry the energy to keep it down.She checked her watch to tell the time. She was late but her knees jelly wobble, she couldn’t move a muscle.
Then after a lot of effort trying to calm her down, even I knew my words did not make sense to her at that moment. I knew with time she would get better but to her, she would never heal. I hugged her and told her everything was going to be alright. She threw her head back trying to take back the tears. The super woman in her stood to her feet, took a wiper out of her purse and gently pat her tears away, dust a little makeup on, wore her ever so gorgeous smile and asked me if she looked like she’s just been crying. She wanted to know if anyone would notice. I told her she looked great and off she matched to her car.
I watched her gracefully walk out and deep down in my heart I knew more than she cared to believe at that moment she was stronger than she ever was.